Migraine Numero Dos.

Hello!

So last night I had my second migraine ever.

Felt kind of like this...
Yes I know, Classy. I was going to go into greater detail and have blood coming out my eye and splattering everywhere.. but I wanted to keep it classy.

If I had to describe how bad the pain was I would say it was like getting your  eye eaten, squished, poked with a needle, cheese grated, and slapped with a porcupine all at the same time.

So far I've only had two migraines my whole life. Before I started getting migraines I had killer headaches which was just my whole head feeling like it was going to explode.

But yes, ever since my first migraine I have grown cautious on the amount of pain pills I take. I don't want to get to the point where taking 2 pain pills wont do anything for me and have to go for something stronger.

The End.

September.

Dear September,

You sucked this year, and apparently sucked just as bad when I was seven and living in Mexico.

Thank You,

19 year old me. 

 

Love.

I would date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you.Then raise the fuck out of our kids.And give you all the motherfucking love and support you'd ever fucking need.And pay the hell out of that fucking mortgage.And then when the gutters are clogged i'll get up that fucking ladder and clean that shit up while you stand by the kitchen window comically judging my work.And then we can vacuum the fuck out of our carpet so hard that we'll have to get a new one.We'll wash our clothes so goddamn fucking hard. Forget no rinse, we'll use high fucking speed.Buy a fucking minivan to stuff our beautiful fucking babies into it and drive the fuck out of it.Then we con go some fucking parent-teacher meetings and meet the fuck out of our kid's teacher. Then judge the shit out of her in the car.And we can then pile all the children in the fucking minivan and go to the store and shop for groceries so hard that we actually have to make more than two trips to get all that shit inside the house.And then cook the fuck out of our kitchen until we have no food left and we feast on that shirt for fucking days.I will eat the fuck out of your homemade cookies.Then wash the shit out on the dishes together until our entire hands get fucking pruney.We'll watch our kids fucking graduate and mother fucking tear up like the badass bosses we fucking are.We will grow so damn old together, we will look like fucking raisins.I will fucking tell you every single second how much I fucking love you.Holding each other's fucking hands so hard that we shit ourselves.Until we die and rot as motherfucking corpses together.Til death do us fuckin part.Happily ever fucking after.

Reblogged from Jimena. Originally from mostlydope on tumblr.

Epic.

So this summer I didn't get to swim with sharks.

I did however go to the pool.

I didn't even see a monkey. 

I did however draw monkeys and go watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

I didn't grow a third arm, or sing on stage with General Larry Platt.

I did however ride in my convertible with my friend top down and singing our hearts out. 

I would like to think I am a classy Diva.

Example driving around town in a convertible top down wearing shades and a scarf. 

Also having a tea party. 

I did in a way travel the world. 

Mexico!

I didn't talk in third person for a day. 

Although I am sure people talked about me and my awesomeness while wearing my "If you can read this my invisibility cloak isn't working" hand made button to the Harry Potter midnight showing.

I did start a business with a friend but it kinda went down in flames. 

At least we tried.  

I actually became a chocoholic this summer so eating one chocolate coated candy for a day was a fail. 

I also had s'mores for the first time ever. 

I would however like to think I did conquer this summer, and that conquering the world is not far off.

Today

So today was a kinda good got kinda crappy was all retarded kinda got better then kinda didn't and then kinda was and then I am tired and don't really know where I am going with this type day.
But overall it was o.k.
Yeah!

I did find something pretty interesting at the store though. It lifted my spirits.

I was in the bottled water section when it happened

I was casually walking along thinking about how I should really stop wearing converse because I am afraid I will end up with flat feet and will never be able to wear high heels, not like I like them either way but still, when something caught my eye.

It was a bottle water like no other.. It's curves, its presence, its contents, gleaming at me from it's little place on the shelf, so I reached for it.

This is when I met Eternal water from New Zealand.

I am not ashamed to say I bought it just because I liked the shape of the bottle, and it's design. I wouldn't even have cared if it was from New Zealand or not, the bottle shape was more than enough.

And yes I might have marbled at the bottle for a good 3 minutes before moving on, but I liked it.

I then continued to place said bottle in my cart and kept walking when I met my second friend of the day.

It's name is NEURO BLISS

As you can see it:

• Helps reduce stress
• Enhances Mood
• Supports memory
• Promotes a positive outlook

Woo let's find blissful state in the middle of the day! 

So yes finding this bottle of "water" got my feathers all ruffled and I was all high spirits. To find one that said it would get me in a blissful positive outlook state, that was great, I could have really used some at the time. 

But then I started thinking. Is this even water? I then read the ingredients and being not able to even sound them out I put down the drink. 

Sure it looked cool and made beautiful promises, but given the fact that my spider sense were tingling I had to say no.

I then went to the check out line and paid for my Eternal. I am now home and have not yet finished drinking my Eternal, I am savoring each and every moment.  I don't think I will ever drink a Neuro but having been introduced to said drink it reminds me of how crazy the world and the people in it are, which brings a smile to my face. 

How is it that there are people that come up with these things? It's both absurd, disturbing, amazing, and exciting! I wonder if a drink will ever replace a person....that would be interesting. 

I can see the bottle now..

We offer:   The Dad, The Boyfriend,  The Mom, The Girlfriend. 

And Many MORE!!

Just one drink and you will experience all of the partnership, back talk, misunderstoodness, punishments, and fatherly/motherly council you could want! 

So to sum it all  up, today was a pretty random/boring day.

Run!

       So I am not the healthiest person in the world. Actually I am not really healthy at all.
If you are on a metro and you see the guy in the back eating a sandwich with mayo at the corner of his mouth, with fries on his lap, and a drink between his legs thats me.. only in a girl version.
       This week started off on the healthy side of things with a 2 mile run with one of my friends. For me, a person whose morning work out consistes of rolling over to the other side of the bed, its pretty hard core.
       But yes let me tell you what happened today. I woke up early had to go do some errands and got about 10 minutes late to the gym to meet with some friends to run. I get to the gym 1. self conscious because I am wearing shorts 2. hungry because I haven't had breakfast But thats ok.
       We then stretch. Or more like they stretch like flippin oplympic medalists while I stand by drinking my water like my life depended on it. After the stretching we are ready to roll!
       We all line up next to each other on the track and start running. Actually I think jogging would be a better word to describe it, so we start jogging. This being my second day I am kinda getting the hang of jogging, my other friend however (the Olympian stretcher) has been doing this for a while now so she doesn't really feel pain anymore, and my other friend who was with us for the first time was actually a pro at it, he had natural talent. So naturally I am the odd man out.
       So then I start to focus to "control" my breathing. Inhale two, Exhale two, Inhale two, Exhale two. I say this like a mantra, over and over in my head as we are jogging around the track. It was pretty sweet. After a while I felt like I could keep going forever and ever..
          But then I just have to open my mouth, crack some joke and be off balance all over again.

Swimming with Sharks 101

After some hard core researching I've narrowed it down to three main points when swimming with sharks.

1. First and most importantly wear a bathing suit.

You know how one dresses up for a job interview? Well its the same concept. You need to show the sharks you are their on business no dilly dallying allowed.

So my advice to you is do not wear that Itsy bitsy teenie weenie Red polka dot bikini. It will just look like you are covered in blood and screaming dessert! Actually you wont really be completely covered in blood since it is a teenie weenie bikini, but you will look very yummy in the red. Wear something a little more professional. Like a itsy bitsy teenie weenie Black polka dot bikini.

Which brings me to my next point.
2. Do NOT bleed.
You cant be a wimp. Swimming with sharks is serious business so you have to be tough.
This will not do.

Swimming with sharks is not for the faint of heart, also for the people that cannot control their bleeding.
Thats right CONTROL your bleeding.
Example.
You are swimming with sharks and BAM an anchor falls on top of you and rips your arm off, if you do not control your bleeding you are dead meat. But if you do you are good to go. Just make sure you cover your arm with a environmentally friendly bag like the ones they sale at Walmart and not a plastic bag. We don't want to destroy the environment now do we.

Which bring me to my last point.
3. If all else fails punch the shark in the nose. 
I suggest to get some blue punching gloves that way the shark will not know what hit him.
When you are down there swimming with the sharks and the shark starts to get ideas with you put a stop to it immediately with a sharp blow to the nose. That will put him in his place, and let you swim along in peace.

You just cant show you are afraid of them. You got to stand your ground, be tough.

So in conclusion you got to be properly attired, be able to control your bodily fluids, and have one heck of a right hook.

The End.